5 E-Z Pass Hacks I'd Really Like to See

1. Voice-activated feature tells you what eateries are at the next rest stop; more importantly, how long until edible food shows up again ("Roy Rogers and Sbarro at next island. Police notified. Engagement imminent if entry attempted.")
2. "Go" lights in the stalls converted to full LCD displays; every toll collection in Upstate shows driver exactly which NYC route they're helping to keep smooth.
3. E-Z Pass tag gets Bluetooth capability. Like most Bluetooth apps, serves no real purpose other than to make owner feel great about themselves.
4. Squeezing two opposite edges makes it squirt vinegar toward passenger's seat. Not useful, except in testing friends' intuition and recall skills
5. Police stopping a sports or high-performance luxury model can engage "broadcast" mode, in which passerby can pick up a feed and display that driver's minimum fine.