5 Cooking Lessons I Learned Moments Before Guests Arrived

1. Green beans should be trimmed before you cook them (Real-time: Guests tried sympathetically telling me that stems were "good for you," while picking them out of their teeth).
2. If "sushi rice" has instructions on the side, you should probably read them before chucking it all in an electric cooker (Real-time: I had told a gourmand friend that I would be the "sushi master" for him and some friends, including two chefs. I shudder a bit every time I think about it).
3. Lamb loin should be pink or light red on the inside. (Real-time: 35 minutes after I had said dinner would be ready, the guest got char-broiled, vulcanized [and expensive] carbon matter).
4. Always take a quick peek a spice before you use it -- especially if it's been on the shelf a while (Real-time: Didn't happen to me, per se, but guests coming to a dinner I was helping with never found out about the colony of bugs that had been living inside the paprika. Every mention of the spice brings back images of devil-red crawly things, living what I would think must be a painful life in hot spice).
5. Don't forget to cut summer rolls in halves before putting them out (Real-time: I've had some pretty juvenile people over for dinner, if you catch my drift).