5 Terrible and Mostly Unacceptable Excuses for the Break in Blogging

1. I thought that the Internet had been put on hold pending the release of the JesusPhone.
2. Was waiting for the whole Paris Hilton thing to come to a head before taking an official stance. Still waiting ...
   
3. Apparently, getting married (or, more accurately, being part of a wedding) is magnitudes more time-consuming than even choosing a graphics card.
4. I actually have been blogging all this time, but it just doesn't seem like it. This is because you, the person reading at this very moment, are the protagonist of a film directed by David Fincher, written by Charlie Kaufman or currently being outlined by possibly every film student not writing an irreverent "Garden State"-style semi-irreverent pseudo-memoir about being the only creative person in some stupid small town.
5. Didn't want to write a "I know it's been a long time, but ..." posts. Basically ended up writing it anyways.